My Kind of God

My kind of god:
Wouldn't begrudge me a pursuit of knowledge, he'd like his women smart
My kind of god
Wouldn't be so dumb himself,
he'd be damned if he'd let war be waged in his name
My kind of god
Would walk among us, knowing it is no blasphemy
to believe heaven can be found on earth
My kind of god
Would show people how to find it
My kind of god
Wouldn't want to know from a virgin birth, he'd enjoy the mating process.
No small piece of heaven, there.
My kind of god
Would be well endowed
Would be named something accessible like Ned
Would find slavish adoration boring
Would hold an auction of all church owned real estate
Would draw the line between an honest prayer and whining
Would help the meek inherit the earth now
Would play resurrection as a crocus
Would cure Stephen Hawking and teach him to tango, because
My kind of god
Would at times, prefer to be female
My kind of god
Would have skin that changes color like a chameleon,
so he could look like all of us
My kind of god
Would stand next to me now, look out at all of you, and proclaim you blessed

Jennifer Ley